


Fight For Survival

by ShenLong



Series: Destinies Arc [5]
Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Angst, Duo POV, Language, M/M, Shonen-ai, Song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-31
Updated: 2015-08-31
Packaged: 2018-04-18 02:30:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4689098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShenLong/pseuds/ShenLong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A side fic to "United Hearts". Duo is back on L2 with Heero and Shane. While investigating the unusual deaths that have occurred, Duo takes time out to reflect on his own past, present and future, to pay his respects, and keep a promise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fight For Survival

Disclaimer: I don't own the G' Boys, they belong to Bandai, Sotsu and respective copyright companies. I don't own the song "Always The Same". It belongs to John Farnham and all rights are his. I just write for my own pleasure and the pleasure of others. 

Rating: R

Pairings: 2 + 1

Warnings: Language, Shonen-ai, angst, Duo POV, song fic

_Indicates song lyrics._

Notes: A side fic to "United Hearts". Duo is back on L2 with Heero and Shane. While investigating the unusual deaths that have occurred, Duo takes time out to reflect on his own past, present and future, to pay his respects, and keep a promise.

Written Oct 2002 ShenLong

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

I stepped out of the hotel onto the streets of my home colony. Taking a deep lungful of stale air, I glanced up and down the street before setting off with a purpose to my stride. My legs encased in the familiar tight black jeans, snug against my body as my long braid hung down my back to brush against the top of my thighs. The red turtle neck hugged my torso and highlighted the creamy skin of my face.

I felt good.

Walking down the streets I couldn't help but notice how little the colony had changed since the wars. The following peace had done some good for the citizens, but there was still a long way to go. It saddened me to see, that while the more affluent parts of the colony seemed to grow and prosper, there had been little done to halt the suffering and poverty of the lesser areas.

_There's a young girl working the corner,_  
_There's an old man lost at sea._  
_They could tell you a million stories,_  
_About the wrong side of the street._

The wretchedness of the familiar streets came home with stark reality. I could see the odd street rat here and there, melting into the shadows as they scoured the territory for pockets to pick. In doorways and on corners I found other memories. Young girls and boys alike, dressed to show their assets as they hunted for likely customers. I felt the churning in my stomach grow as I remembered my own times of being nothing more than a vessel for someone else's pleasure.

_There's a rich man making money_  
_From a poor man's misery._  
_It's always the same._

The well dressed pimps lounged in bars while their whores were out selling their bodies before returning with the credits and hope that their 'protection' would allow them enough to eat for another day. I knew how these men operated. Having been part of such a racket myself in my younger days. Protection from being beaten and raped in return for handing over the few measly credits earned.

I had learnt and learnt quickly. You gave in and joined. If you didn't then you weren't likely to survive very long. That's when I met Solo and my entire world changed. He took me under his wing and taught me. If not for him I doubt I would have lived another season. He taught me how to pleasure a client quickly without getting torn up in the process, how to spot the ones that would be gentle with a youngster who was only just beginning to stare puberty in the face, and how to still like myself when it was over. He was my savior.... my lover.... and my friend.

_Always the same, the fight for survival._  
_Whatever we do today don't make,_  
_Tomorrow the same._

I feel the tears begin to surface in my eyes as I remember that fateful day. The plague had hit the colony hard. The street kids were the biggest casualties and the easiest to forget. I watched helplessly as many of my friends and fellow whores succumbed to the inevitable. When Solo fell ill I knew my world was about to end. I held the only one in my arms that had ever shown me love as they drew their last breaths. Cradling his fevered form as the tears ran unchecked he made me promise. A promise that I would survive, that I would go on and live and find a better existence for myself.... in honor of him, I would live for the both of us.

How can you not keep a vow to your dying friend?

_Fight for survival._  
_Forget about yesterday, don't make,_  
_Tomorrow the same._

I remember when they came to take him away. Each morning the colony health department sent out its 'meat wagon' as we came to call it. Collecting the dead and taking the bodies to be burnt in an attempt to halt the rampant progress of the plague. Huddled in the miserable alleyway, they had to prise my arms from his cold body. I watched as they placed his lifeless form with the others they had collected and as the vehicle left so I stood all alone and forlorn in the rain. A cry of anguish tore from my lungs and broke the silence that surrounded me as I was once again forced to face the harsh reality.

Tears blinded me as I ran.

I ran from the guilt, from the hatred, from the pain, from the loss, and from the knowledge that I was once more all alone in this god forsaken hole.

_There's a runaway looking for shelter._  
_An innocent heart that bleeds._  
_There's a blind man playing for pity._  
_Say's it's the only way to make ends meet._

I lost track of how many corners I turned, how many streets I ran down. My lungs burned for oxygen and my limbs screamed in pain from the effort, but I ignored it. I continued to run as if the very devil himself was at my heels, unheeding and unseeing, so lost in my grief.

My world had shattered around me and I was lost in its broken shards. Pieces of me scattered to the elements as the reality of life and death crashed down around my head. Finally I stopped my headlong run and collapsed, sobbing into a heap by a pile of trash cans. Where I was, I did not know and nor did I care. The pain in my chest bore deep into my soul and I wished only to die.

To join my friend.... my lover.

_And he's living off his hard luck story,_  
_Says he's a victim of society._  
_It's always the same._

I became aware of a shadowy figure approaching and recognized the signs. Ironic how I, who had nothing left to give, should be a target for someone else's want. I felt the rough hands as they pawed at my body, but I could do nothing to stop it. My heart had already been taken from me so why not let my dignity join it? Oh how I hated this fucking colony, I hated this life, Broken and bleeding I lay awaiting the cold touch of death to take me.

But it never came.

I thought it was. I could see it approaching, all black as I knew it must be; but then death did not have such tender, caring hands and touch. I stared into the eyes of my savior as Solo's words came back to me.

"Live Duo..... Don't let this colony take you too. Live for the both of us.... give my death some meaning."

_Always the same, the fight for survival._  
_Whatever we do today don't make,_  
_Tomorrow the same._

I was aware of strong, gentle arms surrounding me, carrying me, and I felt safe. Low voices spoke around me as I was carefully tended, cleaned and fed before being placed in a warm bed to sleep.

That was my first recollection of the Maxwell orphanage.

I spent some time with the Father and sister Helen. It wasn't so bad. At least we ate and I didn't have to sell myself to do so. Slowly I began to heal and accept my lot in life. I began to allow myself to dream of a future... a future without the never ending cycle of poverty. I had no idea of how I would achieve this, and at that age I didn't care. I knew I would survive for Solo's sake.

After all, a promise is a promise.

My life had begun to take in some sunshine. I had people that cared about me again, friends to share hopes with.

My legs stopped their walking and I stared at where they had taken me. The rubble was still the same and the cracked and broken piece of masonry that had once been the tall spire had shed a few more bricks, but the small, thin cross still stood proudly atop of that ruined steeple. A silent testimony to the many souls that lay resting here.

_Fight for survival,_  
_Forget about yesterday, don't make,_  
_Tomorrow the same._

As I take in the ruins of the church and orphanage that had been my home for so long I was again inundated with memories. I fell to my knees as the door in my mind unlocked and the scene played out once again. The smoking ruins, the burnt and slaughtered bodies of my friends lying amongst the wreckage. Sister Helen as she lay dying, one of the infants already dead in her arms. Father Maxwell, skin blistering and peeling from his body as he fought to stay alive long enough to speak with me.

Another promise.....

_The seasons come and go,_  
_And all the questions why,_  
_How will we ever know if we never try?_

Somehow I survived again. I used my body in many ways to ensure I stayed alive to honor my promises. What my ass and cock couldn't get for me, my slight of hand did.

I lived, and I found a way to have my revenge.

Meeting with the man called Howard led me to Dr G and a way to avenge myself against those that had taken from me all I ever had in my short life. I joined forces with the black god that been my companion for so long. I shared in his thrill of the battle and paid my dues with souls.

Souls of others in order to keep my own.

And so I honored the promises I had made and survived. I met with others that shared my goal. Side by side we fought for the same ideals, the same sense of justice, to try to make a difference and bring peace to this warring universe.

Sharing the same feelings and emotions brought me to another family. One that knew what it was like to lose all that was dear to you and still get up and fight to see another sunrise....another sunset. And then.....

It was over.

_Always the same, fight for survival,_  
_Whatever we do today don't make,_  
_Tomorrow the same._

Peace had finally come and claimed its right to exist. Our small family disbanded as we each went our separate ways. For me it signaled something far greater. I had survived as I had promised to do, but in the process I had lost yet again.

_Fight for survival,_  
_Forget about yesterday don't make,_  
_Tomorrow the same._

I returned to this hell hole with the idea of forgetting. Putting the past behind me and beginning a new future. The plans I had dreamed of in my younger days seemed so silly to me now. Reality took over and I tried to keep up with it. The colony was slowly re building but as always it was the richer side that got the support and not the places where it was really needed. So many had suffered through this time...

Many of us still were.

_Fight for survival,_  
_Whatever we do today don't make,_  
_Tomorrow the same._

I tried so hard to forget, to go on with my life, to be normal.... Whatever that was. I should have known it wouldn't work.

Once a whore always a whore.

I could not face the stark reality and so I turned once again to the street life. At least here I was in control of my life. Or so I thought. It took me a while and some deep soul searching to find what Father Maxwell had tried to teach me..... and what I had promised to do.

I hadn't realized that the tears were spilling from my eyes until a gentle finger brushed across my cheek. I looked up, lost and afraid into eyes of cobalt. The warmth and understanding that shone in those depths gave me the answers I had been searching for.

You had followed me. Instinct telling you when to come forward. Your arms held me close as you stroked my back, waiting for me to confide in you if I wished, but not pushing me to do so.

I stole a glance once more over the ruins and felt a peace steal into my heart. At last I had my absolution. I had come full circle. I had completed my promise to Solo and survived for the both of us. I could never hope to bring him back, but instead cherish the memories that I still had of him. He was and always will be my first love.

The promise to Father Maxwell had been harder to fulfill.

Drawing you closer to my body I study your features and try to understand what it is that you see in me. What makes you want someone with my background. And then with a flicker I begin to understand. You kiss me so tenderly, taking away all the hurt, loneliness and anger. Releasing my heart to soar amongst the heavens and allowing me to honor my promise to the Father.

I turn and leaning backwards into your embrace, gaze for the last time at the ruined church. I speak quietly, whispering the words for no one but the dead to hear.

"Father Maxwell.... I have finally managed to complete the promise I made to you. Rest in peace my friend... my savior."

_Fight for survival_  
_Forget about yesterday, don't make_  
_Tomorrow the same._

I allow you to lead me back through the streets to the hotel. You knew this was something I had to do. Without words being necessary I feel the comfort, love and acceptance rolling off you and I am truly happy.

I smile. A genuine, deep, from the heart smile and turn my eyes to the artificial sky. "Yes Father, I have finally forgiven myself." I send the prayer silently. "I have also found love." I can let go of the past now and live for the future.

A future that begins with the fire in a pair of cobalt eyes.

~ Owari ~


End file.
